


so cold, without you to hold

by HogwartsToAlexandria



Series: Marie's HP shorts 2020 [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Sadness for the Holidays, ambiguous timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/pseuds/HogwartsToAlexandria
Summary: Kingsley mourns his husband on his first Christmas alone.
Relationships: Kingsley Shacklebolt/Severus Snape
Series: Marie's HP shorts 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747861
Kudos: 13
Collections: Rare Pair Shorts Festive Fun Fest 2020





	so cold, without you to hold

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Festive Fun Fest of the DW rarepairs_short comm! 
> 
> My prompts were Candles, Sitting by the Fire and the song Lonely this Christmas by Mud which you can find [on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6ka53p5HloApRQ2ptSpuGB?si=_jfjib4iQJirxAllQAQGdw) or [Youtube](https://youtu.be/NJ6kJ7GWtv0).

The heat that comes off the fireplace is barely enough to keep Kingsley warm. The flames crack and tear apart and meet again in sparks of light that make his hand glow orange for all of a few seconds, before they move again, and darkness once again fills the space between his legs where he's resting said hands. 

The candles in this room are all out, and Kingsley can't bring himself to light them up again. Can't even bring himself to whisper a simple spell. 

It was Severus's obsession, keeping the rooms alight even when they weren't using them. It was Severus's job to keep Kingsley warm, and now, for the first time in years, Kingsley can only count on himself. 

The tree in the corner of the room looks sad in its emptiness and again, the only reason it is there to begin with is because it is enchanted to appear in its corner every year on December 1st. The start of the holiday season — the continuation and furthering of Kingsley's misery now that his husband is gone. 

He's alone, and not even the man's portrait can help, so he left it in the bedroom.  _ "I allowed to wallow today."  _ Was what he had told the drawn features of his husband when Severus had raised an eyebrow at him.  _ "I can't keep pretending you are still here just by dragging your portrait around." _

And he can't, Kingsley knows he can't. But today, on Christmas night, a holiday he had made a point of celebrating with a man who had known too much darkness in his life, on a night that marked the anniversairies of many firsts for the both of them, Kingsley allowed himself to cry relentless tears of abandonment in the fire. Let the flames swallow his sorrow, and let the darkness hide the puffiness of his eyes. 

Portrait-Severus would know, just like his husband always knew when something was wrong with him, but Kingsley had to take this moment to cherish and remember who he had lost, even if it meant a night of shadows where there had once been light and joy.   
  



End file.
